Donehoo, Patricia

THE LIFE OF PATRICIA A. DONEHOO

December 30, 1932 to December 20, 2008 (75)

Memorial Service December 30, 2008 1:30 p.m.

On Christmas Eve, December 24, 2005, there was a new visitor in our presence. She had on large glasses that quickly defined her. We didn’t know then that she was journalist of fashions. Sylvia Ginoza found out she was from New York. Sylvia said to me later, “Why would anyone from New York come to Fallbrook?”

Patricia A. Donehoo stepped into our lives and left with us bits of New York and when she left us, on December 13, she took with her bits of the world: the hugs of children, kindness that comes from small town America from California to Nebraska, from Iowa to Texas, an aloha spirit from Hawaii that extends to San Diego, and the warmth of family in a church nestled in the hills of Fallbrook.

Pat Donehoo was born in Pelham Manor in New York on December 30, 1932, the daughter of Florence Mortlock and John Donehoo. She attended a boarding school for girls in her growing years. After high school, she attended the Fashion Institute of New York in Manhattan. One of her first jobs was with a newspaper in Manhattan. Then she was hired by the Woman’s Day Magazine in New York as the senior editor of fashions. Once or twice a year, she would travel to Paris to attend fashion revues. She said, “I saw some of the most beautiful models in the world.” She worked for Woman’s Day for 20 years.

Her daughter Kristin says: “She would take interest in fashions that any common woman could afford. She helped women dress based on their budget. She loved high fashions, but knew how to help people.”

Pat served as a management consultant for CBS, Dow Chemical, and other major corporations. She was a reporter for CBS-TV “News at Noon, ” She had published articles in Encyclopedia Americana and the New York Journal American. Dick and Sally Shoup said, “We were $100,000 in debt. Pat’s guidance replaced that with an $80,000 annual income. She saved our lives.”

In August of 1951, Pat and John J. Bell were married in New York. Pat and her husband eventually divorced. Her family today includes two children, daughter Kristin Beskeen and her husband Mark of Elk Grove, California; grandchildren Alison and Colin. Colin and his wife Katie celebrate the one grandchild – Riley. Her son Kerry who is the elder recently married Carol and they reside in Tarboro, North Carolina. With Kerry, Pat also has grandchildren Kelean and Teresa, four grandchildren in all.

Pat lived in New York until 1993. She moved to Benecia, California for a period, then she moved to Indiana where she worked as a nanny for a mildly mentally challenged child. She always had an interest in Shakespeare and moved to Ashland, Oregon. Then she relocated in Tucson, Arizona. In 2005 she came to Fallbrook to live with her son Kerry. That brings us to Christmas Eve.

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In 2005 after the Christmas Eve service, Pat started to attend our church. In May there was a secretarial opening and Pat was hired. Pat was a New Yorker and as the reporter from the North Country Times reported, yes, she had a flair for fashions. When Pat answered the phone, she started to refer to people as “hon.” Then she started to call me “hon.” I said, Pat, stop using the word “hon.” What if the governor of California called. You wouldn’t call him “hon.” Being from New York, Pat also had a direct approach. I told Pat, “Pat, this is not New York. This is Fallbrook.” You need a softer touch—these are folks from Iowa, Oklahoma, Nebraska, South Dakota, Colorado, and Indiana. In addition, this is also a church family. It’s a different culture from New York. As you all know, Pat became a part of our church family and she learned, patience, compassion, and a softer touch with people. Pat also found that in our church family, there is a deep sense of God present in everything that we do.

Patricia A. Donehoo—New York fashions editor, mother, grandmother, church secretary, and a friend. So what was Pat like? She was boisterous, gregarious, caring, worldly, knowledgeable, talented, fashionable. She loved animals. She was a dog person; she also had a cat. She hated computers, but she learned to like them. She was resourceful, read the New York Times till about her last day. She loved to read and stayed informed with historical books and the classics. One of her favorite authors was Jane Austin. She enjoyed her travels to Europe, Germany and France, and especially loved the pyramids. She had the heart of a writer and when she joined the Fallbrook Newcomers, she was named editor of the newsletter.

When Pat came to our church to work, what I learned was, she was committed to her work, she was punctual, and she was willing to learn. She said to me, “If I do something wrong, please let me know.” …And I did. I did many times. Pat was not the best proof -reader, so every Thursday, Nancy Rexrode came to proof read. Pat always came to church about 8:15 a.m., she spent time in the sanctuary to pray and she was at the office at 8:30 a.m.

Pat warmed her heart for our children. The little children will miss her. Little Ethan Schmutz says, “She won’t be here to grab my cheeks anymore and say, ‘You’re so handsome.’” James Smith says, “Oh no, that means there’ll be no more candy.” One day Pat ran out of candy and James decided to go and see her anyway. Pat used to say to Maggie Schmutz, “You’re beautiful, but the best part is, you’re smart too.! The twins, Isabel and Elizabeth White always stopped by to say hello to Pat, and often, so did Debbie Buckley’s preschool children.

One day Pat said to Connie Schmutz, “Whoever I meet, everyday I want to say something positive.”

Patricia A. Donehoo. Pat lived in and walked in the life of fashion and glamour. But here life was not all glamour. She had her struggles like all the rest of us. Pat told me

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that when she met some of the most beautiful women in the world, they all found something they were not happy about—the nose, the hips, or some part of their body. What we all learn is that, this is not a perfect world. Pat, as many of you know, was a survivor of breast cancer. She completed her radiation treatment just a few months ago.

We will learn in time that the beauty of life is in friendship, family, being able to share the depth of our hearts, to see the world as a child, to take mundane things and see something extraordinary in them. Pat often would go to our memorial rose garden and she would cut a rose, place in a vase and I would find it on my desk. This is the soft touch of the soul. When Pat fell on December 10 and was taken to the Palomar Hospital; our Preschool Director, Sue Shimer, accompanied the ambulance to emergency. When I got to the emergency room Sue said to me, “I didn’t want her to be alone.” This is the soft touch of the soul.

Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 13:34) Paul says, without love, “I am nothing.” (I Corinthians 13:2) When we bring Christ into everything that we do, the world, the work place, the home, and the heart will never be the same again.